I like your revision, Victoria. (And I hate that I made a typo in my first comment....'wither.' I also had understood what you meant in the first version. We cannot NOT hurt one another in intimate relationships; but we CAN apologize, can forgive, can continue to love.)
it will happen again...without remorse... This is the question isn't it? Particularly with those we love. The 'next' forgiveness is that bit more difficult. Then finally, do we forgive knowing that the issue will STILL come up? Do we shut down to avoid the inevitable?
Thanks for all the lovely comments. Kolembo, your comment caused me to go back and reread the poem and I realized I had mispunctuated. I wrote this poem about the necessity of forgiveness and remorse in even the best human relationships, rather than writing about those in which self care requires distancing. That line is there, especially when the other has no remorse. I was trying to write about forgiveness in the presence of remorse, love, good intrentions. And Ann, I just don't believe in the possibility of doing no harm in intimate relationships, which is why the meaning of this poem is so central to my life. I hope it is clearer in the revised form.
Yes, Victoria, forgiveness. But, having to forgive again and again is hard, especially when the other doesn't see a need to forgive too, or being the one to forgive.
Your poem's message rings true with me, Victoria. Without forgiveness love will wilt and die. I had not thought of it quite this way before.
ReplyDeleteI like your revision, Victoria. (And I hate that I made a typo in my first comment....'wither.' I also had understood what you meant in the first version. We cannot NOT hurt one another in intimate relationships; but we CAN apologize, can forgive, can continue to love.)
DeleteTrue!
ReplyDeleteVery true, there is no way forward unless we can forgive.
ReplyDeleteSo true.
ReplyDeleteIt can take a while to learn this, however we all need to.
ReplyDeleteVery lovely, Victoria. The human condition.
ReplyDeleteThinking of "first do no harm", not necessarily meaning physical harm. Wise words, Victoria.
ReplyDeleteit will happen again...without remorse...
ReplyDeleteThis is the question isn't it? Particularly with those we love. The 'next' forgiveness is that bit more difficult. Then finally, do we forgive knowing that the issue will STILL come up? Do we shut down to avoid the inevitable?
Thanks for all the lovely comments. Kolembo, your comment caused me to go back and reread the poem and I realized I had mispunctuated. I wrote this poem about the necessity of forgiveness and remorse in even the best human relationships, rather than writing about those in which self care requires distancing. That line is there, especially when the other has no remorse. I was trying to write about forgiveness in the presence of remorse, love, good intrentions. And Ann, I just don't believe in the possibility of doing no harm in intimate relationships, which is why the meaning of this poem is so central to my life. I hope it is clearer in the revised form.
ReplyDeleteIt's the UNforgiving who suffer most.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Victoria! Forgiveness is a very necessary part of love indeed.
ReplyDeleteYes, Victoria, forgiveness. But, having to forgive again and again is hard, especially when the other doesn't see a need to forgive too, or being the one to forgive.
ReplyDeleteLove the message ~
ReplyDeleteSo true!
ReplyDeleteMuch agreed!
ReplyDeleteWise words. So, why is it so hard to do at times? ;)
ReplyDeletesimple...wise....love and forgiveness go hand in hand...neither exists without the other....
ReplyDeleteImpossible to misunderstand, lovingly forthright.
ReplyDeleteyou make a good case, Victoria... well done!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put and so very true. I love your wisdom poems!
ReplyDeleteLove the message of this poem!
ReplyDelete