I struggle to write about family. Too complex, close to the bone, mixed. Did I raise a good family? Did I do my best? Does that even matter? What will happen to my daughters, their children? What choices will they make, what impact? how much of that is my responsibility and how much can I still change? Family is so vital, so intense, so mixed. I need it so much - need my daughters to be strong and ethical and good - so I can know I succeeded and so I can feel their love and strength flowing back at me. Classic attachment. I know that. Spiritually I know how to practice detaching, letting the strings out, loving without conditions. I struggle to write about family because I resent the rightness of detaching. I want to be able to want what I want in this area and get it. I just want us all to love each other and be good people and be OK, and I know family is never that simple.
Never Simple
Family is never simple,
crucible of survival
attachment essential,
mouth to nipple, breath
synchronized,children
fed first,joy in present
hope for future. Impossible
to detach completely when
they are grown, to give
them back to the universe,
to release judgement of
my essence, my life, my soul
dependent on their choices.
Family is never simple.
Victoria Hendricks
June 25, 2010
Victoria, I agree with you. Family is never simple, and I'm one who doesn't think it is ever totally possible to give our children of any age totally back to the universe. Connection lasts always.
ReplyDeleteI too struggle when it comes to writing about family, especially my grands. But you have written brilliant poem.
ReplyDeleteyes: tricky to write about those connections and those responsibilities! i think the crux of it in this piece is "release judgment".
ReplyDeleteTo release judgment is to be nearly perfect. :) I love the softness of this, the prayerful hope and appreciate the difficulty of writing about family, the most complex of all relationships.
ReplyDeleteThank you, mary, Diane, Carollee, and Tumblewords for commenting on my poem with so much empathy and understanding - so hard to release judgement in family matters.
ReplyDeleteThis brought a lump to my throat...so lovely.
ReplyDelete