Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Tens challenge (ten lines, ten syllables each line)

Attend

Pay attention. Attend to my message.
I am your heart, banging out your true song.
I am your mind, churning out your questions.
Pay attention. Attend to my message.
I am your soul, bearing truth from far stars.
I am your body, rooted deep in earth.
Pay attention. Attend to my message.
I am your death, dancing closer each day.
I am your life, offering this moment.
Pay attention. Attend to my message.
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25 comments:

  1. MaryApril 20, 2011 at 6:15 AM

    Excellent, Victoria. I enjoy form poems. One can't help but to pay attention to the message in this poem! So many things to pay attention to.

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  2. Judy RoneyApril 20, 2011 at 6:30 AM

    Wow, amazing poem and the ending hits hard. So true. I will pay attention.

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  3. KayApril 20, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Absolutely brilliant! Thank you for your splendid offering!

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  4. LynneApril 20, 2011 at 11:45 PM

    Most powerful poem, Victoria. Yes, I'm paying attention. Thank you for your wise words.

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  5. PeggyApril 21, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Another wonderful poem Victoria. I hope you put your wisdom book together. And I am always impressed with form poems that really work like this, where you don't feel the form when you read. NIce work.

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  6. Hyde Park Poetry PalaceApril 21, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    brilliant..



    Invite you to join poets rally week 42, awards are given to first time participants.

    You will love the encouragements you get once you are in and make commitment.

    Love your blog and writing style.

    You Rock!
    xxx

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  7. JL DodgeApril 21, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    A reather nice poem, caought my attion and held it to the end !
    Well done !
    Happy Rally
    JL&B

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  8. PaulamiApril 21, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    Oh! now i indeed will pay more attention. loved the style of it.

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  9. PennyApril 22, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    Wow, great stuff. Attention grabbing and powerful.

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  10. AnonymousApril 22, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Phenomenal - a very direct message well expressed. Really hit me, this one.

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  11. AnonymousApril 22, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    10 stars! that is lovely :)

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  12. Henry ClemmonsApril 22, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    Thanks for cheering me up :)
    Great job. you GOT my attention!

    Henry Clemmons

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  13. WillowApril 22, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    Wise and wonderful message, Victoria...I get in the doldrums and then I read something you have written and I feel bad for feeling bad, pick myself up and carry on.

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  14. Tarang SinhaApril 22, 2011 at 11:58 PM

    Wise & sensible piece of writing.

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  15. Vinay Leo R.April 23, 2011 at 3:37 AM

    I just love the writing, and the repetition in it, Victoria! :) very nice!

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  16. Bing YapApril 23, 2011 at 7:28 AM

    truly haunting... what a lovely poem!

    http://pinklady-bing.blogspot.com/2011/04/getting-high-on-sobriety.html

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  17. TigerbriteApril 23, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    Finely formed with a strong and important message ;)

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  18. JayApril 23, 2011 at 11:15 AM

    Now this is a poem that DEMANDS attention! Job well done.Lovely :)

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  19. AnonymousApril 23, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    Such an interesting format with a lots of interesting thoughts.

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  20. K McGeeApril 24, 2011 at 5:33 AM

    Victoria, this is wonderful. I found the repetition a perfect accompanyment to the message.

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  21. AnonymousApril 24, 2011 at 8:03 AM

    That is awesome! :)

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  22. AnonymousApril 24, 2011 at 10:20 PM

    Lovely piece, Victoria; you were certainly up to the challenge! I liked how the heart wasn't just beating but banging and the mind was churning. Thanks for sharing this one for the rally!

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  23. AnonymousApril 25, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Thought-provoking. Wakes some deeply rooted anxiety... Great work!

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  24. AnonymousApril 27, 2011 at 7:20 AM

    Nice work. Very lovely.

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  25. Cassiopeia RisesApril 28, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    Awesome words and your use of repetition only makes it more powerful.

    Melanie

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