Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Tens challenge (ten lines, ten syllables each line)

Attend

Pay attention. Attend to my message.
I am your heart, banging out your true song.
I am your mind, churning out your questions.
Pay attention. Attend to my message.
I am your soul, bearing truth from far stars.
I am your body, rooted deep in earth.
Pay attention. Attend to my message.
I am your death, dancing closer each day.
I am your life, offering this moment.
Pay attention. Attend to my message.

25 comments:

  1. Excellent, Victoria. I enjoy form poems. One can't help but to pay attention to the message in this poem! So many things to pay attention to.

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  2. Wow, amazing poem and the ending hits hard. So true. I will pay attention.

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  3. Absolutely brilliant! Thank you for your splendid offering!

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  4. Most powerful poem, Victoria. Yes, I'm paying attention. Thank you for your wise words.

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  5. Another wonderful poem Victoria. I hope you put your wisdom book together. And I am always impressed with form poems that really work like this, where you don't feel the form when you read. NIce work.

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  6. brilliant..



    Invite you to join poets rally week 42, awards are given to first time participants.

    You will love the encouragements you get once you are in and make commitment.

    Love your blog and writing style.

    You Rock!
    xxx

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  7. A reather nice poem, caought my attion and held it to the end !
    Well done !
    Happy Rally
    JL&B

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  8. Oh! now i indeed will pay more attention. loved the style of it.

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  9. Wow, great stuff. Attention grabbing and powerful.

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  10. Phenomenal - a very direct message well expressed. Really hit me, this one.

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  11. Thanks for cheering me up :)
    Great job. you GOT my attention!

    Henry Clemmons

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  12. Wise and wonderful message, Victoria...I get in the doldrums and then I read something you have written and I feel bad for feeling bad, pick myself up and carry on.

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  13. Wise & sensible piece of writing.

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  14. I just love the writing, and the repetition in it, Victoria! :) very nice!

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  15. truly haunting... what a lovely poem!

    http://pinklady-bing.blogspot.com/2011/04/getting-high-on-sobriety.html

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  16. Finely formed with a strong and important message ;)

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  17. Now this is a poem that DEMANDS attention! Job well done.Lovely :)

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  18. Such an interesting format with a lots of interesting thoughts.

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  19. Victoria, this is wonderful. I found the repetition a perfect accompanyment to the message.

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  20. Lovely piece, Victoria; you were certainly up to the challenge! I liked how the heart wasn't just beating but banging and the mind was churning. Thanks for sharing this one for the rally!

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  21. Thought-provoking. Wakes some deeply rooted anxiety... Great work!

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  22. Awesome words and your use of repetition only makes it more powerful.

    Melanie

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